From here we'll pick up the pace. Some of the clips (including the one you just watched) will have a single set of questions to consider; others have none. But for all of them we encourage you to think carefully about what you observe. Specifically:

• Focus on the interaction between Caitlin and George, how each responds to the other and how the negotiation takes shape.
• Pay attention to the subtext, the unspoken issues that the parties are dealing with implicitly.
• Consider the tactical choices that Caitlin must make (what she must do or say next) and how that advances her strategy more generally.

In this second clip you see that Caitlin decided to continue the discussion, even though George seems neither prepared nor particularly interested in promoting her. Some viewers say this is a mistake; in their opinion, she should reschedule the meeting after he has had a chance to read her memo. Others strongly disagree; they think that George is deliberately brushing Caitlin off. After all, he treated her much like this in her prior performance review.

Whichever option you favored likely depends on how you interpreted George's behavior in the activity above. In classroom discussion it's interesting—and instructive—to hear how passionately people argue their conflicting views. Even if you knew exactly what George was thinking, your opinion about what Caitlin should do next might strongly differ from those of other viewers. Certainly some would agree with you, but just as surely, others would strongly challenge your conclusion.

Real life is more complicated. Reading other people's feelings and intentions is hard. Maybe George's early compliments about Caitlin's performance were sincere. Then again, maybe they were a cynical attempt to placate her. Caitlin cannot know for sure, yet she must respond. Her decision to pursue the conversation, at least a little longer, seems wise. Perhaps she can make some headway. If not, she still has the option of asking to reschedule the meeting.

As you also may have noted, Caitlin continues to be proactive. She doesn't merely wait for something to happen. She keeps her poise and isn't shy about shaping the conversation. Recall this brief exchange at the beginning.

• Caitlin: What I wanted to say, George, is that I think it's time I was recognized for my work here.
• George: You are recognized. You bring a lot to this company. Keep up the great work!
• Caitlin: Thank you. That's not the kind of recognition I mean.

Caitlin's response is both polite and firm. She has to be respectful—she's negotiating with her boss, after all—but she doesn't seem intimidated. Deborah Kolb and Jessica Porter call her response a "correcting move." To get the promotion and raise she is seeking, she needs to keep the conversation on the right track.

The stakes get higher at the end of the clip when George dismisses her argument about landing an important new client.

• George: I’m glad that Salloway and Diamant are on board, but you just closed a deal that Marty had in the pipeline already.

This is a double-barreled insult. It disparages her contribution and also puts her in her place. Only a boss can use that dismissive tone.

Caitlin understandably feels she must correct George, but notice how she takes care not to personalize the issue. She starts by acknowledging that he may not know the full extent of everything she did to land the new client, but fortunately she has documented each step in detail. It seems like she has really done her homework, lining up colleagues who are willing to vouch for her performance. If you have time, it's worth taking a look again at how deftly she does this. She is confident but not aggressive.

But having dealt with one challenge, Caitlin immediately has to cope with another: George's invocation of precedent and company policy to thwart her request for a bonus. In the introduction to this module you read about the "expect-a-no" mantra. It wouldn't have taken much forethought on Caitlin's part to anticipate this tactic. Still, the question is how best to respond.

Here Caitlin turns the tables by asking what George would do if he were in her shoes. Rather than talking about the pros and cons of the policy, she is trying to introduce a relational element. She does not say that policy is unfair or unwise, as those are provocative words. Rather than debating substance, asking someone to look at an issue from a different perspective can be more persuasive.

There are two other things Caitlin might have said in response to George's "company policy" line. One would be to help George construct a strong argument that her situation is unique, so he won't have everyone else "clamoring for a bonus," to use his phrase. If he is genuinely concerned about setting a precedent, she has to provide a solution that qualifies her as an exception to the rule. Alternatively, she could characterize his perceived problem as an opportunity by saying something like, "It's unlikely anyone else is going to be able to land as big a client as I just did—but if that happened, wouldn't that be great for the company!"

If Caitlin had given it much thought, she could have anticipated this tactic and considered these options (and more). When something unexpected happens, though, negotiators have to be quick on their feet. Being quick on your feet requires being both calm and alert—the former so you don't overreact; the latter in order to pick up subtle changes in the relational atmosphere.

As negotiations wear on, it's easy to lose your focus, especially when things aren't going so well. It appears that that's what’s happening here, in spite Caitlin's best efforts. As soon as she deals with one objection to her promotion, George throws out another one. He tells Caitlin that she's "not ready for the VP job." And he says it twice to make sure she gets the message. When she counters that she has serious responsibilities as a director, George flatly disagrees, saying, "It's not the same thing," perhaps with the hope of ending the meeting.

This is a critical moment in the process, especially given that he has just said she "got lucky" landing the new client. We'll look at two different ways the negotiation could go at this point. Feel free to watch the video clips again or review the transcript.

If you're ready to move ahead and want to see different paths this negotiation could take at this point, watch the next clip.

In this version Caitlin draws a line in the sand. More specifically, she deepens the line that George laid out. This could easily happen if Caitlin were unable to manage her frustration, though nothing good could come of it.

When she says, "It sounds like we're at an impasse. I want the position, and you don't think I am ready for it." George certainly won't contradict that conclusion. This response doesn't give him any reason to change his mind. To make things worse, it signals her anger and may stress her relationship with her boss. Take a quick look at the clip again and think about how you would feel if you were in George's shoes.

In this version Caitlin somehow manages to maintain her composure. She apparently chooses not to challenge George on how he implicitly characterized an ideal VP as being a man. (See the second sentence in George’s opening statement about a VP being “tough with his own people.”) Finding a constructive way of raising that issue would undoubtedly be a challenge.

Instead, she deftly uses the "yes, and" technique of improv acting. Rather than disputing George's assertion that the Director and VP roles are fundamentally different, she accepts that premise and builds on it. (Once again, she wisely avoids battles that she cannot win.) Specifically, she acknowledges what she would still have to learn in the new position and adds, "I would look to you to mentor me through it."

George smiles and shakes his head in admiration: "You're good, Caitlin, there's no question about that." Her manner—polite but persistent—reflects traits that would serve her well in a senior position. It's almost as if the meeting is itself an audition for the job.

But George's skepticism shows when he adds, "But, why should I make somebody VP whose hand I've got to hold, when I can go out into this market and find somebody with experience, who can come in as VP and hit the ground running?"

In this alternative version Caitlin doesn't make the mistake of painting George into a corner. After all, it's in her interest to make it easier for him to say yes to her request. (Bill Ury, author of Getting Past No, calls this technique building a golden bridge that allows one's counterpart to move toward agreement.)

Once again she does a "yes, and" by acknowledging that hiring an outsider might be tempting, but then trumpets the importance of relationships in her firm—relationships with both clients and colleagues. It's an important point. George nods in agreement and says, "Interesting . . . interesting." Then Caitlin goes on to propose that she take on the VP job for three months on a pilot basis, with a stipulated review process to follow. George says he'll think about it.

Timing is important in any negotiation. Caitlin could have made the relational point when she first expressed interest in the VP job. She also might have noted her willingness to take the job on a provisional basis. But she wisely waited until George expressed his specific concerns before she offered her solutions to them.

But George still hasn't made any commitments. What does she need to do next? Think about that for a moment and then watch the next video clip.

Caitlin doesn't demand a firm yes (or no) from George at this point. Whether to do so is a subjective judgment. She has made considerable progress, but realizes that George may not have fully caught up with her proposal. She's significantly confident about her justifications that she's prepared to let George think them through.

Nevertheless she presses hard for a follow-up meeting early the next week. She doesn't want to lose the ground she has already gained. It will be hard for George to refuse to meet with her. If his Tuesday is already booked, there should be time soon after. And at that point, Caitlin can try to close the deal.

In the meantime George can reflect on his options. Even if he still has doubts about whether Caitlin is quite ready to move up, he may nevertheless conclude that the safer bet is choosing her instead of an outsider who does not know the firm.

When Caitlin and George meet again, they both will have to clarify what his mentoring will entail and what performance criteria would be appropriate for deciding whether her provisional appointment should be made permanent. It's important that their expectations be aligned. At this point, though, their conversation will become less of a negotiation and more a matter of joint problem solving.